Match.com Translation

Honestly, who doesn’t love Match.com? It’s especially fun if you’re a young and attractive lady. Here’s a message sent to a person I know:


“Greetings…ok so first off im not from Boring, OR. i just thought it was funny that its an actual city and since its so hard to be different on here i thought maybe that would catch someones eye lol poor attempt at humor I guess. so anyway unlike most guys i actually read your profile shocking i know. And not only are you absolutly stunning, which im sure you get 50 times a day but one of your interests is cooking which is huge since cooking is one of my new addictions even though i think my friends lie when i ask if they like my dinners :) btw your hair is amazing, please don't think I'm a weirdo hair is the first thing I notice on a girl. Not boobs or butt, I like hair lol well have a great Monday and hope to hear back from you. Btw are you ever in the San Jose area? Your not very far from me ;)”

Translation:

Hi, I am kind of awkward and so I am going to make an ironic attempt at humor to introduce myself. Also, I don’t use any capitals when I type or proper punctuation. And, I have bad syntax. i hope that’s ok. I am a little boring (which is why I subconsciously chose “Boring, OR” even though I live in Northern California) so forgive me for that but I obviously like what you like…like cooking! Although, I am not good at it so maybe I don’t like it that much. Oh crap, you can probably tell I am just saying that; um maybe you can cook for me some time? But I must say cooking is a “new” addiction, unlike that hair-doll-making addiction that I am trying to kick. I don’t want you to think this is weird, even though it is but I like your hair A LOT…in a creepy fetish kind-of way. Not weird, right? Okay, fine but at least I won’t objectify you by commenting on boobs or breasts...just your hair. Are you buying it? I hope to hear back from you semicolon parenthesis.

Here’s a little “wink” to all my blog fans ;)