Friday, January 7, 2011

This doesn't mean I don't *believe* in the Internet...

I am being stalked…this isn’t the first time, but I find it to be more annoying than scary. My stalker – Tom’s Shoes Banner Ads!

I thought, “I might like a pair of Tom’s Shoes” the other day and that’s when it started. I innocently Googled them then went to the official website to buy. (By the way, they’re like $9 for shipping – such a rip).

I like the concept of “One for One” and the shoes seem comfy. I then went to and took a peek; turns out they were slightly cheaper and there’s a store near me so I closed the browser and ended my pursuit of shoes…

Then, it started happening…I noticed it but thought it just might be a coincidence but then how could it be? How could it be? It seemed like almost every website I visited was postered with Tom’s Shoes ads! I thought, “How can Tom afford this sophisticated level of targeted advertising? Isn’t he just busy with children in developing countries giving away extra shoes?” Apparently not. Tom’s Shoes is a fucking machine!

Now I know the Internet is a made of magic and I’ll never fully understand how it all works, but I am creeped out simply by the scope of the thing! And no, I don’t want you explain it to me. Seriously. So don’t.

I just like imagine little invisible spies that can fly and report back to Internet Headquarters…which is kind of like the Emerald City but in pastels, not jewel tones, and the Easter Bunny is Oz except he’s like legit but not like a “person” rabbit, just a giant, doe-eyed rabbit that is terribly effective when it comes to marketing stratagem.

Here’s a sampling of what I’ve endured:

Websites visited and reason (for fun):

OMG! – I wanted to read all about Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin’s breakup; actually I didn't even know they were together...eeps.
National Geographic – Getting a subscription for my Papa for Christmas
Ellen Degeneres’ Show – Writing her to help stop slaughter of dolphins in Taiji, Japan – Reading about a new kind of dog collar – I don’t know how, but it popped up in my browser (Easter Bunny! shaking fist) – Learn about recent Court action on Proposition HATE

I went to Nordies and got them anyway. I’m not scared of you, Easter Bunny OR Tom! To my readers: I’m weak, don’t hate me! Editor's Note: Since I started drafting this, the ads have suddenly disappeard...spooky.

Beans says: "What's in the box? What's in the box?" like Brad Pitt in Seven.

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